I told myself that this blog was going to be my outlet. To be able to speak my mind whenever I wanted, and to say whatever I wanted, and not be judged. Let's see if that works.
Family... We all have one, whether or not we like them. We love them, because they ARE family, but we may not like them. Why is that?? Why can't we all just get along. To give you an idea of where I'm coming from, I'll give a bit of a background if you will..
I am a child of the 80's. We grew up being hit when we got it trouble. And it wasn't just a slap on the bottom, let's be honest. We were beaten with belts, wooden spoons, and whatever else my folks could find. There was a lot of anger in my house ever since I could remember. This went on until I was about 15 or so. Of course one of my siblings would tell you it went on longer than that, but for me, I was about 15. I don't know if it's because of where we lived, or what. My mum was raised Catholic, and I don't know if it was THAT, or if she and my father were just mean and cruel people who should never have had children. Anyway, it happened, and I've moved on. I had a wonderful relationship with my mother as an adult until the day she passed. My father on the other hand, I used to be close to as a teenager, go figure, but not since my mum passed in 2006.
Fast forward a few years: I have 3 siblings, an older sister, younger sister, and a younger brother. None of these 3 people have ever gotten along. No, seriously, like, never. The sisters used to beat the crap out of each other, and the younger sister used to beat up my brother. I, being the middle child, used to try to keep the peace, and not very well I might add. I have always stuck up for my brother, and therefore we do have a bond. While I don't talk to him every week, we both know we are there. I have a wonderful relationship with my oldest sister as well. The younger one?? Well that is rocky at best. I love her because she is my sister, but I don't like her. Let me just get it out....she is an alcoholic. Has been for over 20 years. She has a deep hatred for her family...everyone but me...again, middle child, peace maker... I don't understand the disease, and can't seem to find a meeting here where I live close enough to go to. I am not a religious person, so I can't go and talk to the priest or pastor or whatever. I am at a crossroads on what to do....we are facebook friends, which I am thinking is a bad idea, and the root of all evil at this point. She will post something, I will comment, and she gets mad. I corrected her, or I am over stating, or over thinking... She is over 90 days sober I think it is now, and she all but accused me of "thinking" she was drinking again over her latest rant of the dreaded FB page... Trust me when I say, that is not ever my first thought. My first thought is always, "why is she being a bitch"?
Oh what to do, what to do?? Does anyone else feel this way about their family????
